Pubs

Darts is shite

There are certain sports that I firmly believe shouldn’t be shown on TV. This isn’t necessarily just sports I don’t like though. I don’t like cricket for instance, but I don’t object to it being on the TV. There’s a certain passion to it and a cause that people can sympathise with in supporting their team – watching the skill of a batsman hitting the ball for six – or a fielder diving from a diffcult angle to catch the ball and end the batsman’s session – or a fast bowler toppling the stumps.

Darts on the other hand is an abomination which has none of the passion or excitement of other sports. I’m not getting into the old argument of whether or not darts should be classified as a sport. Whether it’s a sport or not is irrelevant. Dog-fighting and bear-baiting are no doubt considered sports by their followers, but that doesn’t mean they should be on TV. Darts is basically a pub game which has somehow found its way on to our TV screens. Who wants to watch tattooed beer-bellied neaderthals throwing aerodynamic nails at a rubber circle in between downing pints in one go?

Besides there are much more interesting events going on at your local that would make excellent TV. Why not make Pissed-Bloke-Trying-to-Chat-Up-Busty-Barmaid a sport and start a world championship in it? Why not have Pissed Bloke Throwing Up In The Urinal of the Bogs a sport? An international championship in Pissing on the Soap Ball in the urinal to see how far it dissolves? How about the Two-Drunken-Slappers-Fighting Tooth-and-Nail-After-One-Accused The-Other-Of-Eyeing-Her-Bloke Masters live from the Red Lion sponsored by WKD?

Admittedly if there were world championships in these pursuits certain countries would have distinct unfair advantages.

Still, it’s worth the suits at the BBC/ITV/RTE/Sky/Setanta discussing it over the boardroom table.

Phrases like “bullseye”, “treble 20” and “180!” could take on a whole new meaning.