Another glorious summer, another World Cup. And as usual the supermarkets, off-licences and pubs hope to make a killing – maybe quite literally in some cases – by a heart attack or cirrhosis of the liver.
Yes, during every World Cup we’re inundated with special offers on crates of beer, wine, pizzas, crisps and countless other junk foods to consume while we watch the football.
How ironic it is then that as the world’s elite of fit, athletic young men participate in a noble, healthy pursuit, many of those watching and cheering them on indulge in unhealthy, ignoble pursuits, guzzling beer by the can and stuffing their faces with crap. As the horizontally rich but follically poor comedian Alexei Sayle might say “It’s a funny old world”.
Don’t cry for me Vuvuzela
Up until a couple of weeks ago I thought Vuvuzela was an oil-rich South America country with a fat loud-mouthed clown as president whose team never qualifies for the World Cup.
Now it’s as if the football stadia in South Africa have been invaded by swarms of angry bees. Love them or hate them they’ve certainly created a buzz in the air at the World Cup. It’s not just Wayne Rooney who has a bee in his bonnet.
Carry on World Cup
Having been following the World Cup quadrennially since I was a wide-eyed 8-year old back in 1982, I’ve noticed that in almost every tournament there’s at least one player with a funny name – ie one that would amuse a schoolboy or a “Carry On” film scriptwriter. Purely from memory I’ve compiled a selection:
1982 – Lopez Ufarte (Spain)
1986 – Cha Bum Kun (South Korea)
1994 – Stefan Kuntz (Germany)
1998 – Stefan Effenberg (Germany)
2002 – David Seaman (England)
2010 – Danny Shittu (Nigeria)
I’m splitting my sides just thinking about them.