“It’s a little secret, just the Robinsons’ affair…”

As a general rule The Dreaming Arm tends to avoid commenting on that storm (or should that be Stormont?)-in-a-teacup  style primary school playground bunfight known as Northern Ireland politics.  There are other blogs better equipped to do that, such as Snailer McCoole (or whatever his name is) or that Russian bloke who likes football and David Cameron.  Nevertheless, I just couldn’t resist commenting on this particular incident!

Mrs Robinson and Benjamin in "The Graduate"

“Here’s to you Mrs Robinson, Jesus loves you more than you will know”
So sang Simon & Garfunkel in the soundtrack to the film The Graduate.
In a fascinating case of life imitating art the film was about an affair between Mrs Robinso,n a married middle-aged woman (Anne Bancroft) and Benjamin (Dustin Hoffman), a young university graduate.  Now it’s been reported that a real life Mrs Robinson, Iris Robinson MP and wife of Northern Ireland’s First Minister Peter Robinson has had an extra-marital affair with a lad almost young enough to be her grandson.  As a bible-thumping self-proclaimed Christian and noted homophobe Iris may feel that true to the song, Jesus (being a forgiving sort of chap) does indeed love her.  Whether young Kirk feels the same remains to be seen, but unlike the former (to quote from The Life of Brian) he’s not the Messiah, he’s a very naughty boy.
 And to further spice things up there’s also a tale of alleged financial impropriety tied to the whole affair.  Tabloid journalists (and bloggers with too much time on their hands) are no doubt having a field day.
Peter not surprisingly denies the allegations of his wife’s financial wrongdoing.  But then he would.  A bearded politician from the opposite side of the sectarian fence is also prone to issuing denials – which are greeted with howls of laughter from the dogs in the street.
Robinson is known as “Peter the Punt” after leading a violent incursion across the border into Co. Monaghan with a baying mob in the 1980s and subsequently escaping jail by paying a court-imposed fine.  But experts in rhyming slang have claimed that he always was a bit of a punt anyway – in much the same way as Bernie Madoff was a banker.
Iris has made her bed, she can lie in it –as I’m sure she did once or twice with Kirk!  
To drown his sorrows the Punt may well down several cans of strong beer such as Stella (or “Wifebeater” as I believe it’s colloquially known for some reason) – or whatever his preferred tipple is.  (Other alcoholic drinks are available).
And isn’t it doubly ironic that Robbo’s deputy in the NI Assembly bears an uncanny resemblance to Art Garfunkel who co-sang the above song?

Northern Ireland's Deputy First Minister Martin McGuinness

Popular recording artist Art Garfunkel

We’ve come full circle…as the actress said to the bishop.



  1. I think I am banned from Slugger The Tool. Having made the fairly harmless observation that I spotted a clearly deranged man who had just walked in to the North Down election count…..and he identified himself as Brian Wilson of the Groan Party (which would win by a landslide if the franchise was limited to children. Slugger the Tool took offence and said I was “playing the man and not the ball”.
    I broke all the rules of the Slugger Message Board.
    1 I have absolutely no faith in Sammy Semiphores “constituency” profiles.
    2 I am not a member of the Alliance Party
    3 I am not a journalist (and Maria Purdy should get a less obvious “ID”)
    4 they never worked out who I was which really pissed them off.

  2. Despite my ignorance of NI Politics, this is a very humorous and enjoyable post. A good disclaimer 😉
    Query: what’s the Deputy First Minister got to do with the messy affair? Those two personalities sure look alike. With a bit of photo editing, you could pass them off as twins 😀

  3. Query: what’s the Deputy First Minister got to do with the messy affair?
    He wasn’t directly involved in the afair, Jeena, but he was part of the musical duo Simon & Garfunkel who sang the highly appropriate song “Mrs Robinson” which was featured on the soundtrack to the film “The Graduate”, which bears more than a passing resemblance to the real life Irisgatae affair.

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